How do you collaborate with someone you donât like? Theyâre not toxic or difficult, you just have different styles, and they rub you the wrong way. It all starts with reflecting on the cause of the tension. Remind yourself: You wonât get along with everyone, but there is potential value in every interaction. Take an honest look at what is causing the tension with you and your colleague and what role you play in creating it. Try to understand your colleagueâs perspective. Few people get out of bed in the morning with the goal of making your life miserable. Make time to think deliberately about the other personâs point of view, especially if that person is essential to your success. Rather than trying to work through or around the other person, engage them directly, and try to understand your difference in interpersonal style. You may realize that your styles could be complimentary if you adapt your approaches. Lastly, ask for help. It shows that you value their intelligence and experience.
The collaboration curse
The fashion for making employees collaborate has gone too far
Involuntary collaboration: a strategy for decentralized science
How your best co-worker, might be someone youâll never meet
How to Deliver Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations
Thoughtful, empathetic language can make or break your business relationships
Be jealous. Make demands. Want more.
Here's to a passionate nonmonogamy where things aren't always fair and people are needy.
An Adultâs Guide to Social Skills, for Those Who Were Never Taught (Published 2020)
Itâs a shame so few of us are taught the basics of how to interact constructively with each other. If you never were, weâre here to help.
How to take things less personally and avoid mind reading | Psyche Guides
Always blaming yourself or assuming others think ill of you? A CBT therapist shares ways to break these self-critical habits
Don't soften feedback.
When I talk about balancing being directive and empowering as a leader, the distinction between being kind and being nice often comes up.
A Pragmatic Approach to Live Collaboration
or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Atomic Operation
Movement Narcissism: A Warning and A Guide | New Archives
Narcissistic abuse is most often discussed in interpersonal relationships, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. However, I would venture that narcissistic abuse is not just contained to romantic relationships, but that narcissists find their platonic targets in social and group environments. Within progressive social movements, this is unfortunately true. Our current activist narratives about charismatic leadership and heroism attract individuals who see social movements as another way of satisfying their need for attention and power.
Frustrated at Work? That Might Just Lead to Your Next Breakthrough (Published 2019)
Donât discount the misfits on your team.
What Is a Cooperative? How to Start One in 6 Simple Steps
Learn what a cooperative is, why itâs different from other business types, and how to start one in six simple steps with this beginner-friendly guide.
Stop Mentoring First-Time Contributors
If youâre an open source maintainer lucky enough to have a significant number of contributors you need to learn to mentor efficiently. First timer issues are not the right good way to get people involved in your project nor mentoring individual first-time contributors. Instead, do things that help all of them.
being able to sit patiently with other people's thoughts, sit patiently with your own, and make both of those processes legible to someone who is not you is very valuable. if you can find a new way to do this that is fantastic news but I suspect it will at least resemble the model we've inherited
